Tuesday 31 August 2010

Cappuccino

Lesley asked where Jason was at some stage. I had to try and keep a straight face while I explained to him that he was on unexpected Paternity leave. After laughing about it he asked if it was genuine. I explained that he had been showing photos round, but he wasn't too happy about the kids name, he wanted Jason Junior(or JJ).
"What colour is it?" he asked.
"Kind of a cappuccino colour," we told him.

Monday 30 August 2010

Cherry picking

Ned had taken a weeks annual leave to go and visit his family down south. When he got back he had brought a big basket a cherries in with him to share.He explained that he had been picking cherries at his dad's house. "Stuck up the tree for three days, with a bucket round my neck," he expanded. "Like a flippin' monkey. While my dad and brother watched him from their garden chairs."Apparently, many years ago, it had been his idea to grow a fruit tree. So every year he goes to pick the cherries off it. Entrepreneur as he is, he managed to pick 8KG, which he sold to the local shop.

Friday 27 August 2010

Offspring

Jason got a shock a few weeks back. A young lady that he had been friendly with about 9 months ago texted him to tell him that he was a proud father.Now fatherhood is a weird thing to have thrust upon you unexpectedly; obviously he had mixed emotions about it all.Then his next thought was Paternity Leave (two weeks extra holiday for nothing).It was left to Ned to work out everything with HR; was he entitled? What proof did he need that he was the father?In the meantime Jason was showing photos of his offspring around the office on his phone.With the comment "He looks like me doesn't he?", obviously strengthening his case.
Apparently the young lady's Caucasian boyfriend, who was now living with her, was a little confused that his new baby had a coffee coloured complexion.

After a couple of days of asking around, we got a visit from a HR bod, who told us that all he needed to do was sign a disclaimer saying that he was the father, and he was going to spend two weeks bonding with his new son.Then that was it. We had to cover for the next two weeks while he managed to get an extra two weeks paid annual holiday.The girls in the office, who had all had legitimate Maternity leave in the past, it's more difficult to fake if you are a lady, were all spitting feathers.

Jumper clowns

What is it?;mid August and torrential rain. Chris is off today starting his journey to Reading for the festival.Little chance of him getting sunburnt this year.I got into the office this morning and a couple of the lads had dug out jumpers to wear over their workshirts.
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