Swipers

For some time there has been some work going on around the building with people fitting security devices next to the doors on each floor. We were told that they wouldn’t be active until September, however we got this e-mail on Friday afternoon:

"Due to regulatory compliance following the integration of Data Retrieval and Data Management staff, swipereadershave been installed across the site.
This afternoon the readers in the Main Building will become active and you will need to swipe your access card to gain entry to each floor.
If you do not have an access card please contact the Security Team on the ground floor of the main building.
Thank for your co-operation - Facilities"

Yes, the e-mail did say “swipereadershave.” We all wondered if that was a new kind of razor. Late on Friday afternoon the swiper system to get into our office door from the corridor was switched on. This caused great problems on Friday (turning it on at the end of the afternoon for one).
Everyone has complained that they have to take their card with them even if they just go for a pee. Us sensible people have shirt pockets, but some of them have now had to start wearing them around their necks.
There are pockets of resistance. Andy is unhappy to have his toilet visits scrutinized, so he knocks on the door and gets Becky (who sits closest to the door) to let him back in.

This is just the kind of important thing that you would think our monthly Team Brief would inform you about. We had Team Brief on the Friday afternoon straight after dinner, and there was no mention of it.
There was the latest news from above that mobile phone ring tones are now banned from our office. Some people did have some terribly annoying ring tones, also they would leave their phones on the desk to ring when they went walkabout, rather than take their “mobile” phone with them. So there used to be people running back down the office to answer their phone, or the people at the adjacent desks having to put the phone inside the drawer. Now we are only allowed to have them on vibrate. So we’ll probably be having mobile races along the desks later on in the week, seeing which phones have the most powerful vibrate.

It's Christmas

As you may already be aware it’s Christmas. Well not really, but the supermarkets have all got their Christmas wares out on the shelves, and everyone wants to know what everyone else is doing about Christmas meals.
The company isn’t doing a “big bash” like it has for the past couple of years, so each department is being given a budget of £25 per head and letting them organize their own thing. There was an e-mail going round asking for suggestions. We had a bit of discussion yesterday. Junior wanted an evening of bowling, which is a bit odd for a Christmas do (I suspect he goes bowling a fair bit, and is probably good at it and wants to show off). I’d suggested going over the Chinese quarter for a nice Chinese. Junior wanted to know why we should go over there for a Chinese, when we could stay local and get an “All you can eat buffet” for £10. I told him that if someone else is buying for a change, you might as well go for a posh one.
He said “You could spend the rest on drinks.”
I said “You have to claim it back on expenses according to the e-mail. I don’t think the company would foot the bill for a big booze-up. Plus you’re going to have to get receipts every time you go to the bar, and you’re not going to keep track of who’s got the receipts if you’re all drunk.”
Everyone feels in a party mood right now, but after a few months of cold weather and everyone has got colds and sore throats the mood changes. Everyone gets on each other’s nerves and people don’t want to socialize anymore.

Genuine slide from Julys Team Brief

This is taken from a real slide for Team Brief:

“A positive example of how raising awareness can influence our behaviour and make this a safer place to work.

On 31 January this year, we held ‘staircase day’. This was an opportunity for everyone based at office sites to take a short time out to learn about a major injury that involved a colleague falling down stairs and discuss our approach to safety.

In the four months prior there had been 27 incidents when people had fallen on stairs and in the four months since there has been a reduction to seven.
This improvement is down to your efforts in making sure you are aware of the risks and in challenging each other. A manager visiting the head office recently was seen to answer his mobile phone whilst walking up the staircase and was please to be challenged about a momentary lapse.

“I just wasn’t thinking, and was really pleased when someone stopped me and pointed out that I was putting myself at risk. My own and others safety is extremely important to me and this was a moment’s lapse that highlighted to me the need to be constantly aware and the importance of looking out for each other.” Colin Sankey, Head of Strategic Change,

People often don’t appreciate the impact that a momentary lack of concentration can have. Broken bones can mean that you can’t drive and/or be the family taxi, do the shopping, play sport and lots of other day-to-day things we take for granted. Are you confident to challenge unsafe behaviour when you see it?"




Yes, they really did spnd some time showing the staff how to walk up and down stairs properly.

Team brief and later

At 2.00pm we all go down to the meeting room on the first floor. Junior gets a mention in Team brief for his promotion, for which he gets a cheer. He looks a bit embarrassed.
There are two sets of stairs at either end of the building. After the meeting most of the team went up the stairs at the canteen end. I go up the other set with Eric and a couple of stragglers. On the way up he asks about Neil.. I tell him that he came in Monday drunk and got sent home and advised to take the day as a holiday. Since then we haven’t heard a word from him. Except for Tuesday when his mom phoned to ask if he’d got into work yet. I explained that I wasn’t sure if his mom was covering for him, saying that he left for work, when all the time he was probably sitting there in front of her. As we get to the office we are just finishing off our conversation when Alan gets to where we are.
“What are you talking about?” he asks.
I don’t want to tell him we’ve been gossiping about Neil, so I tell him-
“Team brief. Eric was just asking about some of the statistics.” (I am out of breath because I’ve been talking as I’ve been walking up.
Alan -“Out of breath, just coming up the stairs?”
“Maybe.”
“I came up the stairs too, I’m not out of breath.”
“They’re steeper on that side.”

Witness Protection programme

In the breakfast queue Karen tells us about
I spoke the other day about our monthly team brief, in relation to Dan dislocating his arm putting on his coat.
Anyway, we have a new starter with us this week, and usually they have some kind of an introduction at team brief anyway. This time tough we have a bit of trouble because he has the same name as another bloke we already have on our floor. So my team leader has been asked to put together a slide for the team brief with both of their photographs on, explaining which is which.
I suggested that we tell them that he has had cosmetic surgery, and this is the before and this is the after photo.
“Why would he be having plastic surgery?” asked Karen.
“Maybe we could tell them that he’s been put on the …(pause to think of the phrase)…witness protection programme. Yes that’s it. He’s been grassing up the local villains, and he’s had to have plastic surgery paid for by the witness protection scheme.”
“You watch too much television you do.”