Monday, 31 October 2011

It's for you

Lester and John are going to be greatly missed when they take their severance at the end of November. They were keeping everyone entertained first thing this morning again. Lester had been given and old LG phone which he hadn't got a clue how to work. He asked John if he would let him phone his mobile so that his number would come up on the display, so that he could find out what his own number was. John read out his number sloswly so that Lester could input it into his phone. When he'd typed in the number he then realised that he didn't know how to ring it. I shouted down: "It'll be the left hand button." Stu was closer and told him to hit the green button, but it didn't show up green until he hit it. He managed to dial, then John eventually answered his phone, although he took his time because his ring gets louder with each ring, and he liked to listen to it get louder, for some reason. John answered the phone with a "Hello Lester, are you phoning in sick again?" Then he read out Lester's number to him. Then Lester asked about if it would come up on the display as John next time he phoned John's number. So we explained to him that that would only happen if he had John in his contacts list. Of course; he didn't know how to input his number in to his address book.
By dinnertime Lester was complaining that he would never get the hang of the phone and that he was going to give it back.


There was a special menu on down in the canteen for halloween, which got us talking about what we would cook for a nice halloween meal, when we went down for breakfast. Most things involved pumpkins, but Hiten and myself became a bit more inventive. I decided that a nice meatball mixture made into the shape of a brain would be good. Then I could stick holes in it, filled with tomato sauce, then with either prawns or thick spaghetti coming out of the holes to look like maggotts. It was only until it was too late to order that I found some brain molds here;

Friday, 7 October 2011

On yer bike

Downstairs where the support guys live, Daz had told me on Monday that Sean, who cycles to work, had been involved in an accident that morning and was in A & E. He reckoned it wasn't a big smash, but he didn't know if his ribs had broken or not.
He was back in this morning telling me that the "fat had stopped him from being hurt too much". He had a badly bruised/swollen thumb and his left arm had been badly grazed. He explained that at the time he leaves for work it is still dark. At the junction with the traffic lights he can usually get up the left hand side of the cars; if not he jumps up onto the pavement where there was a dip in the kerb. However, that day he couldn't fit through the side of the cars, but they had been resurfacing the road, and the jump up onto the kerb was now a couple of inches.He went one way, on to the pavement, while his bike went along the kerb and into the car. He reckoned it was all in slow motion, and then he was lying on the floor for 5 minutes, winded. When he got up a bloke had come over to him, he thought to help him, so he told him that he was alright and that he could go. The bloke said that he wasn't going anywhere. He was the owner of the car that his bike had hit and he wanted some details from him.He looked at the blokes bumper and told him that it was only scuffed and that it would wipe off. Then the bloke, who Sean had gestured; only came up to his nipple area; said he was going to punch him.

"I've just come off my bike and you want to hit me?" he said.

They did exchange addresses and apparently this bloke had threatened him on the phone yesterday about paying for his damage.

Sean said "I wouldn't mind giving him £50 to have his scuff buffed up, but I ain't paying for a new bumper. The bloke was a prick."

I asked if Daz was in today. Sean told me that officially he was and that you could contact him on his mobile, but he knew that he was off, pointing at his bosses empty chair.


Looking at one of the Council's notifications of new house naming and numbering this morning I was fairly amused to find somebody had been allowed to call their new house "The Tardis". I shared this with a couple of people on the e-mail. In reply I got:

"I think it’s going to be built last year."

"Modest exterior houses a surprisingly spacious interior with modern d├ęcor."

& "Doctor on call 24-7"

In his pants

There was a lot of talk this week that there was going to be Dress-Down Day every Friday from now on until everyone leaves. There was nobody to confirm this, we were all waiting for the boss to send out a mail confirming this. John even told Neil that it was Dress-Down Day today. So he felt a pillock on Friday when he ws the only one in the office in jeans & teeshirt. Jason was threatening to come in plain clothes anyway. Ned told him that if he did, he would make him work in his pants. He repeated this on Friday too. Jason said that there was something wrong with him to want to see him in his pants. He went on to tell him that he was wearing his Sesame Street Cookie Monster Pants.