Sunday, 31 October 2010


I was very annoyed yesterday watching the news about the toner cartidge bomb which was found at East Midlands Airport. The newspapers all referred to it as an ink bomb. You would think that a newspaper would know the difference between toner (powder) and ink (liquid).


Ned was talikng in the office about the trouble that had been caused over the recycling bins, but was choosing his words carefully:

Ned: "It's all become a big ker..., blown out of proportion."

Jason: "You were going to say kerfuffle then weren't

Ned: "Yes, I was, but I'm trying to avoid saying it. I like that word

Jason: "It's all a bit of a kerfuffle!" Jason repeated in a high pitched

Me: "Who says kerfuffle all the time? Some TV character."

Jason: "It's Little

I had to think for a while.

Me: "Oh yeah. The guy that pushes the wheelchair."

Jason: "That's right."

Me: "Lou & Andy. I don't know which is which though."

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

Trouble on the 4th floor

This is a genuine e-mail sent round earlier this week by one of the staffwhich has completely been blown out of all proportions. The manager of the guys responsible for the mess had appologised, and everyone was keeping their heads down and being on their best behaviour. The woman who had sent the mail wasn't happy with the appology and half-hearted excuse, and has now escalated the matter as a formal complaint. It has now gone to the regional
manager for our department, who has sent round a stern response to all the managers (I only know because Ned showed me). He finds it hard to believe that it has all got so high, forcing the department manager to comment on their behaviour. He is now asking for any information on who the culprits were and threatening to suspend flexi-time for everyone on our floor. It's just like being at school again.

Last night when I came back from off site, I was disgusted to find that
staff had stacked the so called empty cups into one compartment of the recycle bin, higher than the actual stands surrounding the Business Centre, instead of distributing them amongst the other empty compartments. Most of the cups had the used teabags still inside them, when staff are fully aware (there is a poster on the plastic cup recycling bin) that these cups are turned upside down to ensure there is nothing inside them when stacked for recycling, otherwise recycling cannot take place and this incurrs a penalty cost to the business. Not only that, but the dregs compartment attached at the side was full and overflowing, it had overflowed onto the actual unit and saturated the surrounding carpet. I was stood next to the cleaners when they took the top off the unit, the fluid that spilt out was disgusting and spilt not only onto the carpet, but also onto the cleaners. This also incurrs a cost tothe business as they now have to arrange for the carpet to be cleaned. The cleaners were very upset and angry about this this, and so was I, I am ashamed that such an immature act has taken place within thisdepartment on the 4th flr, and the fact that whoever witnessed this disgusting act/s and behaviour, did not challenge the staff responsible. This is unacceptable, and I told the cleaners so. They have made an official complaint. I would like this incident to be investigated and the person/staff responsible to apologise to the cleaners, as this was a despicable act, these are human beings that have to clean up after them.

Monday, 25 October 2010

Lottery winners

Last Wednesday I got talked into putting in a pound for a syndicate up my end of the office, when the National Lottery was on a roll-over. The fantastic news was that we got a line of 4 numbers and could have walked away with £7 each for our £1 stake. Sadly that's not what happened. What happened was that they all decided to put the ful 90-something-pounds on the Saturday roll-over.

You're imagining that we lost the lot...but no...we won £10 back as much as we put on to start with. So what are we doing with the money? Throwing it back on the lottery. Meanwhile two people shared the £13million rolled-over lottery on Saturday.

Thursday, 21 October 2010


Jason has actually booked some real holiday for the end of this week. Before he left though, he wasn't looking forward to it. He's taking Jason Junior to Butlins holiday camp in Skegness. Lately it hasn't been the weather for the seaside.

He had done some research. He knew Dora the Explorer was going to be in residence there. He even knew a bit about the characters in the TV series.
We couldn't really imagine him doing much with the kid though. We only have visions of him eyeing-up the red-coats.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

Dan's in-laws

I happened to bump into Dan in the city centre on Saturday dinnertime, which reminded me of this sad story.

He has just got married and bought a new house. His next door neighbour decided to move out, and they thought they might take a look at buying the house to rent out as an investment. not being loaded, they spoke to his wife's parents about lending the money to do this. Naturally her parents wanted to see what they would be investing in, so they arranged a viewing. Sadly for Dan, they loved the house, and thought they might like to live in it. So Dan has the very real nightmare of the possiblity of his in-laws moving next door. This might be alright if you had a good relationship with the in-laws, but he really doesn't get on with her dad. Stupidly the wife and mother-in-law thinks that they would get to like each other better if they spent more time together. Of course this isn't the case at all.

Saturday, 9 October 2010

Dress down Alan

Occasionally we have a dress-down Friday, where we all pay £1 to a nominated charity and wear plain clothes for the day. Our last one was Friday 1st October just gone. We were all amused yesterday, 8th, when Alan walked in wearing tee-shirt & jeans. When asked, he admitted he had got his Fridays mixed up. Luckily he wasn't in any meetings and he could hide in the corner quietly for the day.
Just to clarify; the picture is not actually of Alan.

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

Drinks machine

When I got back from holiday a few weeks ago the biggest change was that there was a new coffee machine. I was amazed to get this e-mail today:

"It has been brought to our attention from the Klix Vending Engineer that
some of our machines are being written on in permanent marker pen.Please do not
deface the Vending machines in any way as they are on lease and do not belong to
the company.If any machines are vandalised i.e. written on, the
company will incur a cost to replace the affected areas/parts

Thank you for your co-operation"

Tuesday, 5 October 2010


Jason returned from his two weeks Paternity leave, all smiles. He didn't say how much contact he had actually had with his offspring and his mother. Ned was hoping that he would let it slip that he hadn't been to see the kid at all, and he could start some kind of disciplinary process with him.
I've been asked about this a lot, and basically all he had to do was sign a form saying he was the father of a new baby (no proof needed what so ever) and he was given two weeks extra paid leave.