Junior's hols

I was very amused when Mark from the 5th floor told me that he had bumped into Junior and Cat (his lady friend) in Albufeira, Portugal. Apparently they were in some bar watching the English football. Cat told me that she had seen Mark looking at her and she thought she recognised him, but couldn't think where from. She thought he might have been off the TV. Junior recognised Mark from work, but couldn't think of his name. Mark had gone on a golfing holiday, and told me that he had been drunk for about 7 days solid.

stormtrooper in a tea cup

A week of surprises continued today when one of the guys from the other end of the office brought in the stormtrooper helmet he was putting together from a kit. I don't know why, but it broke the day up.

Alan came and took a look, and he showed me the photos of his Halo helmet that he had started making, but didn't have the time to finish.

Eric had told me last week that Junior and some of his mates had taken the week off to play with the latest expansion pack to World of Warcraft. Today I bumped into Cat, who is now Junior's girlfriend, and asked her what she thought about it. She said that she had created a character to play it, but she was only a level two, and she had much more important things to do with her time.

Away Day

Yesterday we went on a kind of "Middle Management Away from the Office Day", which was basically some seminar where they try to get you enthusiastic about your work and your team. It was held at a nearby hotel and food was provided, which is always nice, but often dissappointing. At one stage our boss had made an "Office" style film which he was quite convincing in as an inept manager. It was all quite funny. Then at one stage there was a scene in the background where a male and female employye went into the disabled toilets together, then came out adjusting their clothing. This was quite funny, and apparently stuff like that had gone on in years past. Then we were asked to comment on it andone team brought up the subject of inappropriate office relationships. Junior spent the next ten minutes looking over at our table red faced. He's actually on holiday at the same time as Cat today, but nobody has brought the subject up. I'm sure he was expecting me to tell the rest of the office what is going on so that they can be more open about it, but

Junior and Cat

Following Junior’s revelation from the other day when we went to visit Mark, when he confessed to be seeing Cat from our office, I was still surprised to see them sneaking out of the front of the building together shortly after I’d left, as I drove through the barrier to get out of the car park. I’m not too sure that he told me hoping that I would tell everyone else, so they wouldn’t have to sneak around.

Visiting Mark

Having had a long weekend I was a bit depressed about going back to work. When I got in my idea that no-one would have done anything and I would have four days worth of crap to catch up with was confirmed. Then mid morning junior said that he had phoned Mark yesterday and that we were going to go and visit him this afternoon.

Mark has been off work with a bad back for over eight months waiting for physio and lately injections in his back.
We stopped off at Subway for dinner and picked up a meatball marinara for Mark too.

Mark was glad to see us. He’s not been out much. You would have to be desperate for company to be glad to see Junior.
We started off asking how he was getting on. He’s having his injections next week and thinks he might be coming back to work the week after that. Then he asked us about the changes to the department at work. We told him all about the comings and goings while he ate his sub. Then as we relaxed a bit more Junior asked how his girlfriend was coping with looking after him. To be polite, Mark asked how Junior’s love life was. He knew that he was having trouble with his girlfriend before he had gone off sick. Junior explained that she had left him just before they were going to move into a nicer flat together, leaving him £1000 out of pocket, having already paid the deposit. We figured out that it must have been about six months ago. They had been going out together on and off for about eight years. Then surprisingly, in an unguarded moment, he confessed that he was actually seeing someone from work, and that he was hoping that things might work out with her:

Junior: “You know who I’m on about, don’t you?” (to me)
Me: “I don’t know
anything”
Junior: “You’ve heard all the rumours though?”
Me: “I’ve heard
the odd thing.”

He went on to tell Mark that he had been seeing Cath, who had worked on our section for a few months. I knew that they had been places together, because she had split with her husband last year and they were both going out “on the pull”. The boss had also been suspicious and had started rumours about the two of them, but we had assumed it was just the boss winding people up. I was probably more surprised that one of the office rumours was true, and that he had offered the information up freely.

Junior: “This is all in strictest confidence.”
Me: “Of course.” (with a
smirk).

Office Smells

Cat came down the office to ask Becks about some trouble she was having with an Excel file:
Cat: “What can I smell?”
Becks:”I don’t know.”
Dave: “Is it a good smell or a bad smell?”
Cat: “Neither really. I was just curious what I could smell.”
Then for all the time she was crouched down between Becky and Dave she was sniffing around, her nostrils flared. Sniffing Becky’s blouse, then turning round to sniff in Dave’s direction. Sadly she left to go back to her own desk without figuring out what or who the smell was.

Junior Smells

In the middle of the afternoon Junior goes over to Cath’s desk and says:

Junior: “Can you smell something around here?”
Cath: “What is it?”
Junior:
“Is it you Chris? Have you let one go?”
Chris: “No!”

I couldn’t smell anything myself over my side, but couldn’t help smirking at the way he had just come out with his accusation. Junior walks up and down for a while sniffing:

Junior: “It’s Ed, you can see him smirking.”
Me: “I’m smiling at the tone you
accused Chris in.”
Junior: “Oh.”

He carries on talking to Cath for a bit, then looks over at Andy:

Junior: “I reckon it’s Andy, he’s looking guilty.”
Andy: “It’s not.”

He lets the sublect drop then, as if he's started things off to deflect suspicion from himself.

Writing's on the wallys

The latest thing in our office between Nige, Cat and Becks is drawing on each other. Yes, drawing on each other like kids. They started off writing “love” and “hate” on each other’s knuckles. Then they started drawing smiley faces on their arms. Lately they’ve been using the office stamps saying “Copy” or “Received” to stamp each other’s hands and legs.

Take a look at some better quality knuckle tattoos.

Eric’s act of kindness

Eric very kindly asked everyone for their drinks order around dinnertime. He asked Cat, who has hers in a mug, and took her mug. Then he asked Becky what she wanted.

“I’ll have a coffee thanks. ..While you’re up, can I be really cheeky and ask you to put those in the bin for me?”

Handing him her pot noodle pot, salad container and drinks can. We erupted into laughter as Eric politely declined.

Bacon Gum

Becky was complaining about the smell of everyone’s bacon sandwiches at breakfast time. She is trying to diet and was having cereals. Dan had been mentioning nicotine gum, trying to give up smoking, then I thought up the idea of Bacon gum for people dieting, but who want to taste the bacon. Then we decided that it would be better, seeing Becks with her cereal, to make something like Frosties, but instead of the sugar coating they could have a bacon coating. Cat told us you could get Bacon bits
At the supermarket and sprinkle those on.

Kisses on the bottom

Cath’s daughter has broken her arm and is at home at her nan’s recuperating. She’s watched all the DVDs they have in the house and Cath is desperate to get Nige to get some more DVDs burned for tomorrow, so she sent him an e-mail listing the films she wanted. When she sent it she realized that she had sent it to Nige’s wife’s e-mail, not Nige’s.
Cath: “At least I didn’t start it off -“Nigey baby” and put kisses on the bottom.”
Becks: “You put kisses at the bottom?!”
Cath: “No. I said at least I didn’t put kisses on the bottom.”
Jason (from some way away): “Who’s getting kissed on the bottom?!”

Domesticity

Sadly, with the addition of more ladies to the section, the talk has got more domestic and today they turned the conversation round to ironing. Cat told us that her mom irons everything- towels, pants, socks etc. whereas she only irons the bare minimum. She then told us that she hardly irons any of her husbands stuff-
“His tee shirts, he just stuffs in his drawer anyway. By the time he comes to wear them they’re creased up. So I don’t bother, I just wedge them in his drawer before he comes home. Then when he takes them out and they are creased, I tell him he shouldn’t wedge them in his drawer so tightly. Then if I iron it for him he thinks I’m doing him a big favour, re-ironing it.”

Junior's meeting

Carl had asked Cat if she was “power-dressing for the meeting tomorrow”. She said not, but he carried on with “Why don’t you get a top like Becky’s interview top, two sizes too small so that you can see everything.” Becky had been mortified at being told her new top that she had worn for the latest round of interviews was discussed in such terms.
At the meeting where Junior and Cat went to sort out what software and hardware they needed since they moved sections. Junior had been talking to one of the guys about what software he used, then one of the older men at the meeting said:
“Do you want a list of the tools that I need?”
“Yes, go on then.” said Junior.
“Highlighters, and a pencil.”

Spectacle

At the coffee machine Andy tries Sarah’s glasses on for a laugh.
Andy: “Do I look intellectual?...Do I look like a nerd?”
Me: “He does look intelligent with those on doesn’t he?”
Cat: “It would take more than a pair of glasses for him.”

Ginger trouble

After the big meetings were over our boss got us round to talk to the rest of the staff who he hadn’t invited in to the big pow-wow. One of the girls had been in the print-room and had only turned up after the chat had started. Karen stopped him and pointed out that she was now in the office and needed to be called over.
Boss: “Don’t worry about her, she’s ginger. She’s used to being left standing on her own smelling of piss.”
Cat: “ I do not smell of pee!”