Witness Protection programme

In the breakfast queue Karen tells us about
I spoke the other day about our monthly team brief, in relation to Dan dislocating his arm putting on his coat.
Anyway, we have a new starter with us this week, and usually they have some kind of an introduction at team brief anyway. This time tough we have a bit of trouble because he has the same name as another bloke we already have on our floor. So my team leader has been asked to put together a slide for the team brief with both of their photographs on, explaining which is which.
I suggested that we tell them that he has had cosmetic surgery, and this is the before and this is the after photo.
“Why would he be having plastic surgery?” asked Karen.
“Maybe we could tell them that he’s been put on the …(pause to think of the phrase)…witness protection programme. Yes that’s it. He’s been grassing up the local villains, and he’s had to have plastic surgery paid for by the witness protection scheme.”
“You watch too much television you do.”