Clive's birthday again

I went down in the lift with the guys in the lift for breakfast and they asked if I was going out on Friday for Clive's birthday. This was the first I'd heard of this:

Me: "Where you going then?"
Hiten: "Somewhere over Bristol."
Me: "What? why so far? He always goes to weird, out of the way places. Is
it because he has to go places where nobody knows him?"
Chris: "Yes, he's banned from anywhere close by."

Takeover

I got a bit of a shock in the middle of the morning when one of the big bosses arrived side-by-side with our boss, asking if we could gather everybody up the one end of the office. Apparently, some of the papers over the weekend were speculating that the company was going to be taken over. Basically the boss came in to talk to everyone about the speculation, even though he knew nothing about it at all. All this was supposed to set our minds at rest. He asked if anyone had any questions and confirmed that nobdy knows what is happening, and there will be a bit more news on Wednesday. They would have done better to wait until there was some solid news before they got everybody talking.

BBC News Strike

I was very surprised on Friday and Saturday to see a range of completely strange/new faces on BBC's Breakfast, due to the BBC reporter's strike. I did wonder why, if the regular presenters are on strike due to a greivance about their pensions, why weren't this other bunch also on strike? I imagined the regular presenters sitting at home shouting "scab" at the telly all day. Then on the local news they had dragged out a very old political correspondant with a big mole on the side of his face, which really didn't help my concentration.

Junior volunteers II

I saw Junior's lady friend at the coffee machine this morning and asked her what had gone on yesterday about the film crew. She told me that they didn't actually turn up in the end. However Junior had been expecting them, and had even had a shave that morning to prepare. I asked if someone was providing a script or if he was supposed to write something. She had asked him the same thing, and because he wasn't tearing his hair out trying to think of what to say, she thought that they knew what they wanted him to say. He had told her that he wouldn't say anything on camera that he didn't agree with.

Big bang

One of the girls in the office was leaving yesterday to go on maternity leave. They had put out streamers and balloons around her desk, and did a small presentation around 11.30, to hand over the proceeds of the office whip-round and leaving card.

She went home about 1.00pm.

Then Sue, her team leader, decided she would tidy up. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that she was clearing up all the streamers, then saw her un-tie all the balloons then carry them into the corridor with her big pair of scissors.

A few moments later there was a bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, as she burst the balloons; as if she had taken someone out into the corridor and shot them. Everyone looked round, then were still looking around as Sue walked back in with the remains of the balloons, smiling.

Junior volunteers

Out of the blue last week I got an e-mail, the day before a workshop at the local hotel, saying something like "Thank you for volunteering to stand up in the middle of the presentation, when asked, to demonstrate the 16 people per year from the company who are injured at work."

I don't know who put my name forward, and it was no big deal in the scheme of things. I did feel a little annoyed that I wasn't asked; just volunteered by somebody. And which bugger picked me out of the 200 people or so that went to the workshop?

Anyway, I was quite amused this morning when Junior came down the office complaining. He had been volunteered by the boss to be involved with a camera-crew who were on their way, supposedly to make a video about "Diversity" within the company. He was hoping someone was going to volunteer to go on camera and speak about the subject. Of course nobody did, and I'm not too sure who actually took part in the film in the end.

I did warn him though that his small-checked, black and white shirt was going to cause strobing.

Toner

I was very annoyed yesterday watching the news about the toner cartidge bomb which was found at East Midlands Airport. The newspapers all referred to it as an ink bomb. You would think that a newspaper would know the difference between toner (powder) and ink (liquid).

Kerfuffle

Ned was talikng in the office about the trouble that had been caused over the recycling bins, but was choosing his words carefully:

Ned: "It's all become a big ker..., blown out of proportion."

Jason: "You were going to say kerfuffle then weren't
you?"

Ned: "Yes, I was, but I'm trying to avoid saying it. I like that word
though."

Jason: "It's all a bit of a kerfuffle!" Jason repeated in a high pitched
voice."

Me: "Who says kerfuffle all the time? Some TV character."

Jason: "It's Little
Britain."

I had to think for a while.

Me: "Oh yeah. The guy that pushes the wheelchair."

Jason: "That's right."

Me: "Lou & Andy. I don't know which is which though."

Trouble on the 4th floor

This is a genuine e-mail sent round earlier this week by one of the staffwhich has completely been blown out of all proportions. The manager of the guys responsible for the mess had appologised, and everyone was keeping their heads down and being on their best behaviour. The woman who had sent the mail wasn't happy with the appology and half-hearted excuse, and has now escalated the matter as a formal complaint. It has now gone to the regional
manager for our department, who has sent round a stern response to all the managers (I only know because Ned showed me). He finds it hard to believe that it has all got so high, forcing the department manager to comment on their behaviour. He is now asking for any information on who the culprits were and threatening to suspend flexi-time for everyone on our floor. It's just like being at school again.

All,

Last night when I came back from off site, I was disgusted to find that
staff had stacked the so called empty cups into one compartment of the recycle bin, higher than the actual stands surrounding the Business Centre, instead of distributing them amongst the other empty compartments. Most of the cups had the used teabags still inside them, when staff are fully aware (there is a poster on the plastic cup recycling bin) that these cups are turned upside down to ensure there is nothing inside them when stacked for recycling, otherwise recycling cannot take place and this incurrs a penalty cost to the business. Not only that, but the dregs compartment attached at the side was full and overflowing, it had overflowed onto the actual unit and saturated the surrounding carpet. I was stood next to the cleaners when they took the top off the unit, the fluid that spilt out was disgusting and spilt not only onto the carpet, but also onto the cleaners. This also incurrs a cost tothe business as they now have to arrange for the carpet to be cleaned. The cleaners were very upset and angry about this this, and so was I, I am ashamed that such an immature act has taken place within thisdepartment on the 4th flr, and the fact that whoever witnessed this disgusting act/s and behaviour, did not challenge the staff responsible. This is unacceptable, and I told the cleaners so. They have made an official complaint. I would like this incident to be investigated and the person/staff responsible to apologise to the cleaners, as this was a despicable act, these are human beings that have to clean up after them.