Bacon Gum

Becky was complaining about the smell of everyone’s bacon sandwiches at breakfast time. She is trying to diet and was having cereals. Dan had been mentioning nicotine gum, trying to give up smoking, then I thought up the idea of Bacon gum for people dieting, but who want to taste the bacon. Then we decided that it would be better, seeing Becks with her cereal, to make something like Frosties, but instead of the sugar coating they could have a bacon coating. Cat told us you could get Bacon bits
At the supermarket and sprinkle those on.

Clive's Man-mamms

Clive comes in late and ends up going down for breakfast about 10.30. He asks if anyone wants anything and Dan asks him to get him a Double Decker. When Clive brings at back in his top shirt pocket it’s all warm and melted.
“It’s melted between his man-mamms!” shouts one of the Steve’s.
Clive insisted it was the only one left and that it was near the motor near the refrigerated bit, and was already melted.

Kisses on the bottom

Cath’s daughter has broken her arm and is at home at her nan’s recuperating. She’s watched all the DVDs they have in the house and Cath is desperate to get Nige to get some more DVDs burned for tomorrow, so she sent him an e-mail listing the films she wanted. When she sent it she realized that she had sent it to Nige’s wife’s e-mail, not Nige’s.
Cath: “At least I didn’t start it off -“Nigey baby” and put kisses on the bottom.”
Becks: “You put kisses at the bottom?!”
Cath: “No. I said at least I didn’t put kisses on the bottom.”
Jason (from some way away): “Who’s getting kissed on the bottom?!”

Domesticity

Sadly, with the addition of more ladies to the section, the talk has got more domestic and today they turned the conversation round to ironing. Cat told us that her mom irons everything- towels, pants, socks etc. whereas she only irons the bare minimum. She then told us that she hardly irons any of her husbands stuff-
“His tee shirts, he just stuffs in his drawer anyway. By the time he comes to wear them they’re creased up. So I don’t bother, I just wedge them in his drawer before he comes home. Then when he takes them out and they are creased, I tell him he shouldn’t wedge them in his drawer so tightly. Then if I iron it for him he thinks I’m doing him a big favour, re-ironing it.”

Late 2

Dan gets up late and misses most of the morning. He strolls in just before 12.00 with his McDonalds bag and big cup. Ricky sees him first-
Rick: “What time do you call this?”
Dan: “Lunch -time.”

Late 1

George is late in and the troops are talking between each other about where he’s got to and what excuse he’ll have when he turns up. Dave has gone walk-about when George gets in around 10.00 and immediately starts a coffee machine run. Dave comes back and sees George walking towards him.
Dave (shouting): “George!”
George: “What do you want?”
As Dave: “A 52 (coffee with sugar on the machine) please mate.
George heads back to the coffee machine-
Dave: “Did you mean a drink, or did you mean “What do YOU want!””

Network down

When we got on and logged in this morning the whole of the network was down. I spent 15 minutes with my speaker phone on waiting to get through to the helpdesk, who informed me that the whole of the company’s networks were down. We ended up chatting with each other about yesterday’s interviews, among other stuff. Eric came over to see us because no one was around in his section yet. He has the same shirt on as me. It always seems that when I pick this shirt to wear, Eric also has the same idea:

Me: “If I get a team manger job you’re going to be the first one I try and head hunt for my section.”
Eric: “That’s very nice of you to say so.”
Me: (Pointing to one of the Steve’s) “You needn’t bother I’m going to head hunt you though.”
Steve: “I’m not bothered. I would probably refuse to work for you anyway.”
Eric: “You’re making the right decision there Ed. He’s very touchy and has a vile temper, doesn’t he.”

We ended up going down for breakfast early, which we were lucky with to be first down because half the place had got the same idea. The network came back on around 9.00, just after Karen had phoned the boss (who was interviewing today as well) to get an opinion about what we should do. He sent a message to say the time should be spent tidying up our desks and the rest of the office. This all happened before Junior and Alan had come in. They were upset that they’d missed all the commotion.

Interview day

Junior is early on interview day. He’s all jumpy and insisting he’s not prepared, I think it’s all just a front.

Junior:: “Are you prepared for the questioning?”

Me: “I’ve got a few scenarios ready for the questions.”

Junior: “How many scenarios have you got?”

Me: “Five or six.”

Junior: “I’ve thought up about eight. I couldn’t find anything to say was a weakness though.”

Karen and me both smirked, considering telling him his weaknesses.

Me: “We could tell you a few suggestions.”

Junior: “I think I’m just going to go with “I have an inability to recognise my weaknesses”.”

Weigh in

Nige lost 3lbs again this week, but was beaten by his missus to the prize. She lost 3 1/2 lbs this week. After Nige had finished telling us about his waistline Alan started talking to Becks about her diet. She was explaining that she wasn’t counting points or anything like that; she was just trying to eat healthier stuff. Opposite her now sits Dan, who comes in late on in the mornings with his McDonalds breakfast, and then will have KFC or Subway for dinner. He also has a bag full of snacks for during the day. As he was leaving, Alan said “Keep up the good work.” (to Becks)
Dan replied “I will.”