It's shit up North

Dan had read this, that people's hands are dirtier the further north they live.

Dan (reading): "The further north they went, the more often they found commuters with
faecal bacteria on their hands - men in Newcastle were the worst
offenders."

Eric: "So does that mean if we are around half way that we're only 50% as dirty?...Do you think it's the hand that we wipe our arse with that gets dirty then?"