Weighty issues

Nige now works further down the office, so the gossip that he had started weight-watchers had only got to me this week. Last night was his weigh in., Cat had got a text off him first thing telling her that he had won Weight-watcher of the week and lost 3 lbs. He got a little certificate, which he bought in to flaunt under the ladies noses, and a big basket of fruit.
The news spread down the office this morning, and everyone was asking him about it. When Dan came in late I decided I might as well tell him as well. He was un-impressed:
Dan: “It’s been really hot weather though.”
Me: “What? You’re saying he’s sweated it off?...But surely all of them will have been sweating too?”
He still asked him later if he wanted a Subway for dinner.
Hazel was asking if he’d got the new Indiana Jones film on DVD yet. He explained that he hadn’t yet.
Hazel: “Will you take me to the pictures to see it?”
Nige: “Yes…But you’ll have to pay.” (All joking)

Then Nige’s wife, on the sixth floor, heard about it and was heard to complain “He never takes me out to the cinema. I haven’t been to the cinema for …years.”

This all coincides with one of the Steve’s birthdays. He has brought in a big bunch of Pringles, crisps, onion rings, and cakes. Sarah asks how old he is and starts reading the crisp labels, looking at the fat content. Andy sees this and shouts down the office:
“Sarah Baxter what are you doing to yourself?”
“Take a leaf out of my book and eat a banana.”