Thursday 23 August 2007

Morale (Fruit and mints diet)

Since getting his promotion, Junior has wanted to create better morale in the team. At his previous job they had pool tables and other such niceties to make the staff more relaxed and feel special. Fruit and mint diet. He does this in small steps, so one of his latest schemes has been to bring in a selection of mints (humbugs, soft-mints, glacier mints), but he’s only kept these for his small section, rather than spreading it throughout the rest of the team. So partly to piss him off and partly because I fancy a mint occasionally, I like to put a couple of mints in my pocket each time I have to go near his desk. I’m not sure if Junior has realised yet, but plenty of other people have seen me doing it.
I’ve also become more conscious about my waistline, and have been avoiding the sandwiches from the canteen in the morning. Instead, I’ve been having bits of fruit.
This morning Alan asked if I was going down for breakfast (this is before Junior has got into work yet). I explain that these days I am avoiding the breakfast sandwiches from the canteen and am on a diet of fruit and mints, which they have a bit of a laugh about. Alan and one of the Steve’s go down for breakfast, leaving me talking to Eric (who doesn’t have breakfast anyway) discussing if I could convince him to be filmed trying to juggle for my blog.
Junior came in late, so the others had all been down for breakfast. He does manage to get Karen worked up enough to go down for a sandwich in the canteen with him. I noticed they had both gone, so I saunter over to grab some more mints, and to see what’s going on.

Me: “Has she taken him off to give him a bollocking.”
Alan: “No they’ve gone down to the canteen for breakfast.”
Me: “I’ve managed to convince Eric to be filmed juggling for my blog.”
Eric: “ No you haven’t!”

Alan has been off for a couple of days. I ask him about the new blog he’s set up, but only put one post on as yet (meant to be a way of giving himself something to do rather than play World of Warcraft with all his spare time). I tell him about the “Road-show” IT laid on yesterday, when we all managed to come away with a free 512 memory stick, which we’d also managed to clear up does not contraband the IT policy to use on your works machine. Alan pointed out that it only takes one person with a virus on their home computer to bring the memory stick back into work and infect the rest of the company. We then go on top reminisce about the old viruses, like the “cookie monster virus” and some that Alan had written himself, that just sat on the machine, then randomly minimised and maximised whichever windows were open on your machine, which sounds like good clean fun.

Just then, while my hand is in the goody jar, Junior and Karen come back. I keep my hand closed tight around the mints, and asks them what they’ve got.

Me: “I thought you’d given up the fatty breakfasts from the canteen?”
Junior: “This is my first one for a few weeks. Aren’t you eating the sausage sandwiches any more?”
Me: “No I’m watching my waist, I’m on a new diet of mostly fruit.” (deliberately not mentioning the mints)
Karen: “…And mints.”

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