Fat Dave update

I’ve been off work ill for a while. Coming back in I found out that one or two people had got a text off Fat Dave saying something like “Sorry I haven’t been in touch for some time, but I thought I should say goodbye because I’m moving abroad.”
Abroad is a very ambiguous tern to use, you would tell someone which country you are moving to. Apparently Raqueeb phoned Fat Dave to find out more about what he was doing. Dave told him that he was moving to Germany with his new girlfriend and her son. We think that he’s met her on the internet and are very worried (not that worried really) that she is one of those cannibals, who all seem to be German. I think she’s seen a picture of Dave and thought her luck was in (eating wise). I reckon she could freeze most of him and live off him for months. Either that, or she could be involved in a big network of cannibals, who meet up once in a while for a banquet. I can just imagine them wheeling Dave along, roasted, on a giant silver tray, with an apple in his mouth.