Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Junior’s portal profile

As I’d mentioned the boss is out this week which leaves normal working practices a little flimsy, people decide it’s okay to phone in and take the day off, or like Dan yesterday, deciding to book the afternoon off. Junior phones up this morning, having phoned in yesterday to take yesterday off as holiday, but this morning he’s not sure if he’s got any holiday left. He phoned me up to ask if I could go and log onto his machine for him to see if he had any holiday entitlement left. I don’t know what he would do if he hadn’t day any days left, if he would have quickly got dressed and raced into work.
In order for me to do this for him he had to tell me his log-in and password. While I was waiting for the machine to boot up I told him about yesterdays events, and that Eb was a part-time hit-man (which it took some time for him to understand). Eb overheard and said “Oh, no not that again.”
When I was ready he told me his log-in and password and I told him he had got some holiday left. He was happy, said that he was having the day off and hung up, leaving me logged onto his machine.
So I shouted over to Alan and asked what I could do while I was logged on. Then we decided the best thing to do was to change his personal profile on the company portal. We all have our photos with a brief description of our skills and interests. Alan had got an old Photoshopped picture of Junior with a distorted forehead, which made him look like Oddbod off Carry on screaming”. He quickly produced that on a memory stick while I kept the mouse moving, so that the screensaver didn’t kick in and thought about what to change in the text. I swapped over the pictures, then we decided that in the language section we would add advanced Welsh as a skill. The only things we could think of in interests was to make him sound a bit gay, so we put a sentence in saying that he enjoyed musicals and walks in the park. Steve E suggested we put “likes hanging around public toilets at night”, but we have a limit.
Alan says “It serves him right for being so lazy”.
I’m wondering how long it will stay on the portal though, because nobody checks their own profile once they’ve written it, only using it for looking up people’s phone numbers throughout the company. So I think it could stay like that for years possibly.

What I don’t understand is why anyone would want to be on holiday while all the bosses are away.


Anonymous said...

He shouldn't give out his log-in and password. He's a Dick.

Anonymous said...

You should have changed his photograph completely. Put someone elses head there instead. Can you remember his password?