Neil update

I’m not expecting Neil to return to work any time soon following what the boss told me and Junior on Friday. He (the boss) came over for something around dinnertime on Friday. He ended up on Andy’s machine. He was on his lunch break and was either in the toilet or having a cigarette and he’d left his web browser open on the Auto-trader site. The boss saw what cars he was looking at then changed the search to some Audi model that Andy wouldn’t be able to afford. Then Junior came over to leave something in my “in tray”, so the boss collared us both and told us that Neil had phoned him a couple of days ago, laying down the law and telling him he was going to resign. Bearing in mind his sarcastic nature and what he had just done on Andy’s machine, we were fairly unconvinced. He carried on:
“Really. God’s honest truth. He phoned me shouting the odds and told me he was going to resign. Pissed obviously, you could tell. I told him “You’re very tough on the end of a telephone.”
(He had given him a bollocking the day before about his absenteeism, and by all accounts left Neil shaking like a leaf).
“I don’t believe that, not Neil.”
“No. Honestly. Then he came out with something like “I’ve worked for bigger and better companies than this.”
“…And did he actually turn up for work for them?”
He clammed up a bit when Andy came back to his computer, then he turned round to him and said to him “We must be paying you too much if you can afford to buy one of them.”
Andy looked at his search on the Auto-trader and saw someone had tampered with it. After a couple of seconds thought he came back with “I wish I could.”